Communication: it’s not just what you say

Communication is not just words.  It's also tone & body language.

This points out several things:
1. Emotion is a very important part of communication.
    Tone and body language express emotion.  What this means to you: If you want to be a good communicator, it’s important to have a working knowledge of emotions.
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Anger

I see anger as mostly a secondary emotion. It’s the tip of the iceberg.

With an actual iceberg, about 1/3rd of it is visible and 2/3rds of it is hidden under the surface. With anger, anger is the visible response, and some sort of emotional pain is hidden under the surface. Instead of dealing with that pain directly, we turn it into anger as a way to release it or redirect it. It’s much healthier to learn how to identify and process directly the pain that’s underneath the anger.

That emotional pain under the anger could be many things: fear, rejection, shame, resentment . . . . There are many possibilities. Learning to identify the specific emotions you are feeling is an important step in dealing with anger.
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Feeling is not a 4-letter word

Some people act like feelings are something other people—lesser people—have, but not something they experience themselves. This concept grows out of training from parents who had that same idea or contact with adults or peers who made acceptance conditional upon the “feelings are bad” code.

The reality is that feelings, or emotions, are an integral and crucial part of being human. Emotions are great tools that let us know what is going on between us and the world. They create a feedback loop that can inform our choices about what to think, do, and say. Fear of big trucks on the move can keep us from walking out into the street as one passes by. Ignoring that feeling can be deadly.

If we don’t pay attention to our emotions, they will still create behaviors in us, we just won’t be as in control of those actions as we are when we are conscious about our emotions.